I had a weird conversation with a friend of mine about abduction. She said she fears it. I said I love it. After that, I started to "sense" a presence in bed room, every time I go to sleep. Even now, if I pay attention, I can "feel" "him" looking over my shoulder, as if "he" was just... observing. It creeps me out, but it's ok. It's... amazing. It's about a week or so since that conversation and "his" appearance. I can't actually see "him", but it's almost as I could see him with the corner of my eyes. Three nights ago, I saw "him" for the first time. Standing, next to my bed, dressed in a white and tight jumpsuit (hard to say). There was a gray, staring patiently and emotionless at me. I was scared, but not in panic. Fear of the unknown. But pleased too. I wonder how long our relationship will last only in this observation-thing. Life is starting to get interesting... finally...

Wake up. Piss/shit. Change clothes. Drink a glass of water. Leave home. Wait for bus. Get to job. Work. Eat. Siesta. Classes. Wait for bus. Get to home. Get Judo backpack. Go to Judo training. Get spanked at Judo. Go back home. Shower. Eat. Piss/shit. Study. Play games on PC/lose time on the internet/msn. Get to sleep.

And people still asks me why I want so much to be abducted. I know I was abducted a long time ago. Perhaps, it's time for them to come back. I'm getting bored...

I wasn't so happy as a sedentary guy. Actually, I thought I was ok, but then, 2 friends of mine invited me to practice judo. And so I accepted. I never thought I was so rusted. Fuck, every single muscle of my body hurts. But I must say: I was missing some exercises. I'm sore, but I'm feeling good. I can say that a huge part of my bad mood/depressive-way-of-life was based on doing nothing to spend this stagnated energy. Plus, if I work hard, I can even kick some asses... neat.

Finally I got myself a research job on college. I was getting sick of doing nothing but studying... at least I was able to sleep till 11am everyday, but now I'm getting cash to do some anthropometry research on schools, with students. I always felt kinda weird about it. You know, going to poor neighborhoods and dealing with people who might stab you for 10 bucks. But I was wrong. I'm such an ignorant. I'm feeling very useful and proud of myself. It's great to work with those kids and they actually feel they are helping with something good (which is, because this research will make the government give resources for the student's meal).
I know I'm a jerk. I don't care about anybody but myself. I'm sure of it, and this research came to teach me a lesson: I'm still a jerk. But I'm starting to look things with other perspective now. Maybe, just maybe, some day I'll become a good person. Enough said.

Hell yeah! I was completely unaware of my own birthday, but, suddenly, I'm feeling kinda excited about it. I know nothing's gonna happen, no party, no nothing. But somehow I'm glad I survived another year. And I'm not being dramatic, it's just how things are. This time I'm happy. For reasons unknown. Perhaps that's the true meaning of celebrating a birthday: just feel happy and glad to yourself. But I still wanted a cool surprising party. *sigh*

Yeah, last post I made you all (??) think I was back. And I am! I was just too lazy to post anything. But, hell, I'm back.

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Weee, birthday's on the way. I know, I don't actually sound happy. I used to feel better, even a month before. But this year... I dunno. I almost forgot about it. I reminded about it yesterday. And it's on september 9th. I guess I'm getting old, although I'm not exactly what you could call "an adult". I miss when I was a kid. Life makes us stronger, but also makes our hearts harder. I should be happy. Not that I'm sad, but I just think it's not as cool as before... whatever.

Yup. Got rid of myself for more than a month. Classes should had begun august 3rd, but, because of the pig's flu (or H1N1), we're only getting started tomorrow. More vacations + classes finishing on schedule? Sweet! Oh... classes tomorrow... shit...

Some strange stuff is happening to me lately. I've been ill for about a week. 39º Celcius of fever and no contact with reality at all. One day, I just woke up on a hospital bed. Low light; the window curtains were half open, letting some light in. It was a tall building, I felt as if I were on the 30th floor or something. About 15 seconds after I woke up, a nurse came in the room, in a rush. She checked my pulse, my temperature and called a doctor, who made some questions regarding who I was and stuff. For my surprise, I was not only not in my country, but also in another year. Sidney, Australia: November the 14th, 3412. I even spoke portuguese to the medic and he looked astonished. Then, he called the person "responsible" for me. She arrived half-hour later. A pretty brunette lady, not older than me. She said she found me on a road, almost dead. I finally realized which year it was and started to panic. Everybody was dead. My gal was dead. I had no ID, nobody knew me and I had nowhere to start over. What was I suppose to do? Everything changed. How did I get there? Was those nasty aliens again? Playing tricks just because I threw some rocks at them? Or is this another version of my nightmares? But it doesn't make sense: exchange a rusted, humid and cold basement for a new life in the future? I've been having that nightmare for years. Why change it now? Why wasn't I able to do it before? Assuming it was a dream too. What's happening to me?

I went to meet a friend of mine on his place. I pushed the button of his apartment and waited. As my friend was taking too long, and I was starting to get visibly impatient, the janitor started a talking:

-Hi!

-Hi...

-Do you deal with this virtual things nowadays?

Pause. Ok, with "virtual things", the only thing I could guess he was talking about was computers and internet.

-Yeah, kind of...

-Do you have "orkuts"?

Oh, there you go. Just another old fag seeking for more friends on Orkut, so he can look "popular".

-Uh... no...

-How come? Everybody has orkuts!

-Not me...

-Do you have msn?

-... yes, I actually do...

-Then give it to me, so we can meet online and I can teach you how to make your own "orkuts".

-claudio@gmail.com

-That's it?

-Yup.

By that time, my friend finally arrived.

-Well, nice to meet you...

-Bye! See you online!

Yeah, see you on a mental house, you sick fuck.

I had some peaceful nights, after I threw those rocks at the bastard UFO. But I was expecting some retaliation, and so they did. Being abducted for a while. I was put naked on a cage, where other nasty aliens came to watch me, like a zoo. They threw peanuts and Doritos at me (at least I had something to eat). After 3 days (that's what seemed to me), they got me out of the cage, hit me with a dead cat (???) and I passed out. Woke up on my bed, bruised and bleeding. I'm glad they didn't rape me. Sons of bitches.

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Not a single cool zombie movie out there! What's the world coming to?? ¬¬

Just as I was expecting: at 0400hrs, those sons of bitches started to emmit that light at my bedroom. I was awaken and fully prepared. I opened the window and threw, one after another, the 4 heavy rocks I had. One of them cracked the UFO window and hit one of the bastards right in the kisser. Oddly, the interior of the UFO started to blink a red-alert-like light, and it flew away, shaking like it was malfunctioning. Hah! Owned those aliens. But, of course, I'm expecting retaliation this night. Four more rocks to go.

------------changing subject---------------

Vacations, at last!

Yesterday I finally was able to make contact with the UFO. It started last month, casting a blue-white light in my bedroom at 0400hrs, just to piss me off. It's being doing it every fucking night since then. This time, I opened the window fast enough to get the motherfucker laughing at me, before running away. I had my camera prepared, but I couldn't photograph anything but pitch black (although I know I focused the son of a bitch and had a clear image of it in the LCD).
Now that's something really weird: what the fuck do they think they're doing? I say "they" because I saw 3 dark silhouettes thru the UFO window, covering the mouths and laughing out loud. I have to deal with stupid human beings every day. Isn't it enough? Now bully-aliens? I have some 3 or 4 heavy rocks, that I'm going to throw at it next time. Perhaps this night.

Knee is working fine again. Doc said I probably hurted it while sleeping, but I know he's saying bullshit: I hurted it playing GTA 4. And the fucking semester is not over yet. One paper and one more exam. Than... it's time to dig some money...

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I've being chasing UFOs lately. Without success, though.

Suddenly, my left knee stopped working. This morning I felt that my knee was kinda weird. After physiology class, in the afternoon, I couldn't put my foot on the floor, cause I just couldn't handle the pain. And here I am. Perhaps wednesday I'll go to the hospital...

It's not the first time I do this thing: I'm dreaming and, in my dream, I suddenly realize I'm dreaming. Then, everything becomes clear and it's like I "wake up" in the dream. I can walk freely, pic stuff (like the one I picked sand on a road) and even try to convince the people in my dream that nothing there it's actually happening. Last night I was running from a horde of zombies, when I realized (while running):

-Hey! I'm dreaming!

But, somehow, those zombies kept running after me, and I had to get to a safe place, with a heavy iron door. The weird thing is that, when I turned the corner to my final run for the "safe house", I got back to the "dream stasis", cause everything stopped to seem clear and I started to feel like when you are almost falling asleep. In other words: I lost control. But it's quite fun. I hope to find out how to do it whenever I want, and not just by chance. And something tells me that I should stop playing Left 4 Dead at 0300hrs...

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Remember that biochemistry exam which I totally crapped on my pants? Gots me (<<--??) a C+! It's not something I should feel proud, but considering I'm not fully awaken for, at least, 2 months, that's a victory.

Shit, end of semester on college. A lot of exams and papers to do (which explains my absence, partially). This first semester flew like the wind, but this last month... ffs, it's taking ages to end. And I just can't keep myself standing up. Really tired and sleeping a lot on weekends... I'm actually exchanging night per day, studying till 0300hrs, 0400hrs... I need a bloody break. I'm almost there... lame post...

Yup: aliens do exist! I've been telling my friends my whole life about their existence, but they all just laugh at me. Well, this appeared on The Sacramento Bee newspaper, in january 2009: John Hardfinger (Sacramento, California) went to Jane Sukr's house, his neighbor, to ask her to lend him some flour and saw something really spooky: she, completely naked, performing oral sex on a strange being. According to John, he came back to his house, got a digital camera and went back in time to photograph the couple. After that, he got away and called the police. The cops arrived in a minute, but the "alien" had already got away. Sounding normal and now fully dressed, Jane said she doesn't remember anything. She was even very surprised when she saw the picture.
"In the first moment, I thought it was an inflatable doll, but then "he" looked, smiled and blinked one of his big black eyes at me!" - said John, still scared, to the cops. This occurrence is still under investigation.

The proof:


Source: The Sacramento Bee

After a long time trying to find this person (and recently giving up) I had an idea and found someone who actually still have contact with her. And so, my 5 years old search has come to an end. Glad to meet you again, Jenga ^^

Now that is something really really weird I like: hair dryer sound. Winter's trying to hit us (I say "trying" because we have only summer and winter and they try to appear when it's the other's turn <<--- did I sound confusing?? O.o) and I discovered that hair dryer sound makes me warmer and cozy when I'm trying to sleep. I know. You may be thinking: "omfg wtf?". But anyways (anywayS?), scientists and other people of sciences and biologists and whatever and doctors say that it's because it "recalls" people of their intra-uterin life; the coziest and warmest place  in the world. Bites me. I don't care about it. All that matters is that it makes me get warm faster under the blankets. Plus, I sleep faster too. So, I downloaded a 15min hair dryer mp3 file. I usually wake up with my mp4 with no power at all and my ears hurting (big fat Philips headphones), but it's worthy.

I remember some particular stuff from my life. And I'm not just talking about childhood: Things that happened 6 ou 7 years ago too.

* When I was, like, 4 years old, I used to live in Germany. Dad was working hard on his PhD by that time and I sent a little "nazi" to the hospital. I was in the kindergarten and there was this boy who used to bite me (yeah, kinda gay, but whatever) and everytime I questioned him why he did it, he would say because I was not german. One warm and nice day he went to my direction, eager to bite me again. I shook him, holding his shirt, and released him. He fell, hitting the head on the floor (and believe me: I still remember the sound of his skull kissing the ground) and started to collapse. By that time, I felt very guilty and afraid that he might have died.

* Still in Germany, I was at home and went to the toilet, to take a dump. For reasons unknown, mother left the clothes iron cooling right beside the toilet. And I touched it. <<---- that was dumb.

* I remember my first skate board: black and green, with a white skull on the middle (there was a worm comming out of it's eye hole). I was 12 years old and used to enjoy going down a slope here on the street where my home is, sat on the skate board, screaming like a crazy retard boy. Nowadays, I walk by that huge slope and still feel the sensation of the wind on my face and my stomach on my back.

* The first love we never forget. I actually didn't know her name, but we used to stare at eachother during the interval, in school. I was 13 and never had guts to go there and talk to her. On the next year, she vanished from that school. <<--- pity me ¬¬

* The first punch we never forget, too. Since I was a nerd, it was normal to get bullied on school. Until another warm and nice day, when I gave my first punch: a stone-like closed fist right on the front theeth of a guy named Daniel. Since that day, I started a collection of scars on my fists and the number of female friends increased exponentially. I was 14 back there.

* First time I got drunk (and this first time I got REALLY drunk) I was going to complete 18 years old. It's hard to say if I actually remember something, but I have some flashes where I am pissing on a supermarket door and another flash where I'm laid down on the middle of the street, saying "good night" to my friends. Somehow, I managed to get out alive from that night.

* College Entrance Exams. I was 18 when I did the first:

1)Psychology. <<---Failed needily

Next year:
2)Biology <<---Failed needily

The other year:
3) Languages. <<---Success!

After 2 and a half years of Languages, I got bored and then graduated on a gourmet course (7 months). Then, I saw myself face to face again with the so feared College Entrance Exam: let's try Nutritions!

Success! And here I am, on my second year of Nutritions.

I remember a lot of stuff that I didn't put here. It would be a very large entry. Anyway, doesn't matter. We laughted, we cried, we hated and we loved. In the end, all we feel is that weird sensation that good and bad times leave good memories, both. Some of these good memories makes us happy and others weight oddly over our hearts. I miss a lot of people. People who died and people who simply had disappeared: those are the ones that hurts me the most.